Pleasure for people with a penis

Some subjects are easy to talk about, while others... less so! When it comes to sex, taboos are gradually fading. But let’s be honest: some topics are still holding out. Talk about orgasms, pleasure and toys for people with clitorises, and conversation flows freely. But what about people with penises? As you know, Passage du Désir is all about championing pleasure for everyone and encouraging exploration, whether you’re on your own or with a partner. So I couldn’t resist shining a light on a subject we don’t discuss nearly enough: pleasure for people with penises!

Sooo many clichés! 

The less a subject is discussed, the less we know about it and the more misconceptions spread. Pleasure for people with penises is no exception!

I don't see this as a chance to blame anyone, but rather an opportunity to separate fact from fiction together... Kindness, now and always 🙂 

So let’s take a quick look at some common misconceptions about the subject.

“It’s mechanical: a few thrusts and job done!” 

That’s actually quite far from the truth. It would mean pleasure comes solely from penetration, and that simply isn’t the case!

The penis isn’t necessarily the only erogenous zone. You can pleasure your partner by stimulating their testicles or anus, nibbling their earlobe and much more. You get the idea: thrusting isn’t the only source of pleasure.

Exploring the subject might also give you ideas for things to try. It’s a great way to grow closer to your partner or your crush.

“It’s easy to tell if someone enjoyed themselves: if they came, job done!”

That’s another misconception! Whether someone has a penis or a clitoris, an orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve reached the height of pleasure.

You can feel pleasure without ejaculating! There’s no need to question yourself if it happens to you. Your erection can be firm, the stimulation can feel wonderful and go on for plenty of time... And yet you might not ejaculate, even after reaching orgasm!

It’s also possible to ejaculate without reaching orgasm; this is known as anorgasmia. It can be very frustrating, so don’t hesitate to speak to a sexologist about it!

“Sex toys? They're not for me — there's nothing made for us!”

You can probably guess what I’m going to say, but I’ll say it anyway: that’s obviously not true! While far more brands offer intimate toys for people with clitorises, there’s plenty of choice for people with penises too. Here’s a little selection of our penis toys 👇

“Anal pleasure is only for people with clitorises or gay men”

Not true either! The idea might appeal to you or put you off, and that's perfectly understandable. But the pleasures of anal stimulation are open to everyone!

For example, you might enjoy your partner’s tongue straying towards this area during oral sex and stimulating it. You might also enjoy being touched there with a finger, without it having anything to do with your sexual orientation.

It’s an area rich in nerve endings, which means it’s sensitive. That’s why it can feel good when your partner gives it some special attention.

Here's something interesting: people with penises have an equivalent of the G-spot. It's called the P-spot — P for prostate, a particularly erogenous area! And the little “button” that activates it is in your rectum... No need to thank me for the tip; just enjoy some next-level orgasms if you fancy it 🙂 

Sources of pleasure for people with penises 

Now I’m going to share a little of what I know about the subject. This won’t be an exhaustive list, of course. I’d have to write a book rather than a blog post to explore it properly... Who knows? Maybe one day!

In the meantime, here are a few avenues to explore... Or not — it's up to you!

Oral sex 

Generally much loved, it can bring all kinds of pleasure. You can enjoy it without any extras, or try popping candy, for example, to discover new sensations... explosive ones!

It can involve stimulating part of the shaft or the whole penis in the case of deep-throating.

You can even do it to yourself! Yes, it's fairly rare because it takes a bit of flexibility, but it is possible.

Masturbation

There’s no shortage of options here either. There’s the classic up-and-down motion of your hand (or your partner’s) on the penis, of course. But you can also use toys, including the little wonders I mentioned earlier in the article.

Or you could try humping: masturbating through friction, against your partner's body, for example.

Sensory stimulation

It’s a broad category packed with all sorts of spicy possibilities. It could mean sending a nude, wearing a particular outfit or enjoying your partner’s scent, for example...

And to explore pleasure to the full, you could discover slow sex and tantra. These practices encourage you to take your time rather than chasing an orgasm at all costs, so you can (re)discover every sensation during sex.

Penetration

Whether it’s anal or vaginal penetration, the possibilities are endless! It’s a classic, so I won’t go into any more detail here.

Perineal stimulation 

Yes, you have one too! It's a valuable ally when your prostate starts acting up, but it also helps you maintain a strong erection and enjoy yourself during sex.

It’s only a few centimetres long and sits between the testicles and the anus. It can be stimulated during oral sex, for example by letting your partner explore the area with their tongue. But using your fingers to apply gentle pressure in small circles is what’s likely to give your other half the most pleasure!

What’s new

Don’t get me wrong: that doesn’t mean you need to change partners... Please don’t twist my words — I don’t want any trouble with your (ex-)partners 🙈 I was thinking more of seeking something new by trying different sexual practices.

Pegging, slow sex, tantra, BDSM, humping, kinging... The list is long and full of practices that are as varied as the sensations they offer!

That’s all for today — see you soon 💜