How to properly prepare for anal sex

Playing as a couple means having the opportunity to vary pleasures, try new things gold (re)discover certain sensations. Anal stimulation is part of this range of options available to us and our partner. And contrary to popular belief, it can produce very intense orgasms. But before diving in, it's worth knowing that anal sex requires preparation. Here are some tips to help you get started with complete peace of mind!

Talk about your desires and your concerns 

With the sexual liberation of recent decades, we talk more openly about what we get up to under the covers. Bye bye taboos, which are slowly beginning to fade. People are opening up and many are speaking out on the subject.

The upshot is that, since we know what goes on at the neighbours', we compare our sex life with that of others. We can even go as far as trying things that don't really appeal to us just to feel normal.

We can't say it enough — it all comes down to desire and consent! Just because many people around you practise sodomy doesn't mean you have to try it if you don't feel like it.

One of the reasons we don't dare take the plunge — aside from simply not being attracted to it at all — is the fears we may have. So don't hesitate to talk openly with your partner; there's no better way to build confidence!

We prepare our body, but our mind too!

I'd like to go over the most common fears and misconceptions when it comes to anal sex:

• "There will inevitably be traces and that puts me off"

Your rectum is designed to eliminate what your body doesn't need. So there is indeed a possibility you'll find residue on your partner's genitals, on their finger, gold on the sheets... And I reassure you, it's not the end of the world! A shower, a good wash and no one need ever know! Don't be embarrassed — your partner knows full well what to expect if they venture there. But if the idea horrifies you, you always have the option of an anal enema. 

How does it work? It's very simple — grab your enema bulb, fill it with lukewarm water, then head to the shower:

• Gently insert the nozzle into your anus after applying lube. If it doesn't go in, don't force it — you risk injuring yourself. Try again later; you're probably not yet psychologically ready!
• Squeeze to release the contents into your rectum. Apply continuous pressure — not as if you were squeezing a stress ball, as you risk drawing secretions back into the bulb and leaving bacteria that you could reintroduce into your anus next time, and hello infections!
• Squeeze to hold the water in, wait a few minutes and then head to the toilet to expel it. Hello to a clean, residue-free rectum for worry-free play!

An important reminder: never use anything other than water in your enema bulb. No soap, products gold plant extracts — that's a guaranteed way to destroy your intestinal flora.

We also shouldn't be doing enemas 5 times a week. If you practise enemas repeatedly, your intestinal flora takes a hit, even when using only water, and you risk losing your defecation reflex.

• "I'm bound to be in pain"

If you prepare properly, feel comfortable with the idea of trying and trust your partner, there's no reason to suffer. And a bonus tip: it's easier for a first attempt just after an orgasm! You'll be relaxed — thank you dopamine, a.k.a. the pleasure hormone — and it will be much simpler and more enjoyable for you.

Your partner can start with gentle finger caresses to familiarise you with the sensations around the anus. They can also practise anilingus if you feel comfortable with the idea. The action of the tongue can help the sphincters to relax!

If you need a little help to relax, opt for an anal relaxant which will give you a mild numbing effect and allow you to progress through the following steps more calmly. 

Feeling like a pro and the sensations are rather good? You can opt for an anal plug which will allow you to make a smooth transition between the size of your partner's finger and that of their genitals. It's entirely up to you whether gold no to then try penetration!

• "I'm scared of getting stuck"

If the preparation step (explained just above) is correctly followed, there is really very, very little risk of that happening!

Keep communicating — at the slightest unpleasant sensation gold twinge of pain, let your partner know. You then have three options:

• Slow the pace — a back-and-forth that is too fast can be difficult to handle during a first attempt
• Change position — the angle of penetration may be putting too much pressure on your anal wall; opt for something that allows for more gentleness
• Stop the anal sex, to a round of applause because you did it — it's a first and that deserves respect. You'll have plenty of time to try the experience again later.

• "At least I'm sure I won't catch an STI"

Wrong! Sexually Transmitted Infections are not limited to vaginal penetration. As soon as mucous membranes come into contact during unprotected sex, you are exposed to the risk of contracting an STI. In the case of anal sex, the glans mucosa comes into contact with the anal wall, so contamination is entirely possible. Haven't been tested in a while? When in doubt, it's better to use a condom for safe play!

• "Anal sex will drive them wild, they'll be completely out of control"

It's all about communication! If you talk to each other honestly, there should be no problem on that front. The pace is too fast, you're feeling an unpleasant or painful sensation, or you simply want to stop... Say so. Staying attentive while playing is possible! Simply explain that you have some apprehensions and that you want to do it at your own pace and on your own terms.

A quick reminder: in the heat of the moment, you may be tempted to switch from anal to vaginal sex. That is THE bad idea! Bacteria present in the anus can cause all sorts of issues if they come into contact with the vaginal mucous membranes. You can opt for a quick shower before continuing, gold use a condom that you change before considering vaginal penetration.

Off you go towards new pleasures, with a clear mind and a host of tips up your sleeve to prepare well. Remember, you should never feel obliged to do anything you don't feel like doing! If you fancy it, go for it and give it a try; if not, there's no shortage of alternatives for having fun 😜