All about threesomes

Ahhh, the threesome... right at the top of French people’s fantasy lists. Why is it such a popular fantasy, and how can you make a threesome work? Let’s explore!

Why are threesomes such a popular fantasy?

Because threesomes shake up the conventions of couples and traditional relationships. Whether you’re a couple inviting a third person into bed or single and enjoying the company of two partners, a threesome is a bit like having your cake and eating it... you know the rest:). Having two people focused on your pleasure, and returning the favour, is intriguing, tempting and exciting!

How do you find partners for a threesome?

The million-dollar question 😉 Once you’ve decided to try a threesome, finding partners can seem like the trickiest part. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you have several options for embarking on your adventure as a trio.

• Download a specialist dating app such as Feeld or Joyce. The advantage? You can be sure you’ll match with people who are just as interested in a threesome as you are.
• Try a swingers’ party. What’s that, exactly? It’s a party organised for meeting people and exploring sexual activities considered “non-conventional”. An ideal place to find enthusiastic partners for a threesome.
• Ask around, especially among former crushes who might be up for a fun threesome. Just don’t ask the ex you had a breakup with that was as complicated as a Rubik’s Cube. If you know someone you hook up with who’s open-minded, ask if they’d be interested — you’re more likely to get a yes.

Once you’ve found your potential partner or partners, what next? Meet for a coffee to see if you click. If all goes well, arrange a date to make your shared fantasy a reality.

8 tips for a great threesome

Communicate openly

The key to a successful threesome is open, honest communication between everyone involved. Talk about your expectations, boundaries and desires before you begin. Make sure everyone feels comfortable expressing what they do and don’t want. And if you’re in a relationship and having a threesome with your partner, make sure you’re both 100% on board and neither of you is doing it just “to please the other”. That could be devastating for your relationship.

Contraception and protection

Before you live out your fantasy, make sure everyone is up to date with STI testing. Ask to see their results or suggest getting tested together. And when it comes to contraception, make sure that’s sorted too, so there’s no risk of an unplanned pregnancy.

Set clear ground rules

Set the ground rules before your threesome begins. What’s allowed, physical and emotional boundaries, confidentiality — everything should be crystal clear.

Respect everyone’s boundaries

If someone says "stop", you stop! Respect the boundaries set by everyone taking part. Mutual respect is the foundation of a positive atmosphere.

Check in regularly

Take breaks to check how everyone is feeling. A quick chat in the middle of the action can prevent misunderstandings and make sure everyone is comfortable. It won’t kill the mood — it might even reignite the sexual tension!

Give everyone equal attention

Make sure everyone feels valued and involved. No favouritism: you’re there to give and receive pleasure together. The key is to balance the attention and interaction between all three of you.

Trust and consent

Trust and consent are essential. Make sure everyone feels safe and comfortable with what’s happening. Mutual trust is what holds your experience together.

Have fun!

Don’t put pressure on yourselves! As with sex alone or as a couple, things can sometimes fall flat. When that happens, it’s better to laugh it off and move on.

There you have it — everything you need to know about threesomes! So, who’s going to give it a try?