What your first sex toy reveals about your personality

Hello Venerable octopus tentacles,

August means... yes, heatwave, but also... PERSONALITY TEST! Go on, we can see you, on the beach erasing a couple of answers to skew the results to suit you ;)

So of course we're offering you one our way <3

Was buying your first sex toy yesterday, or is it already a distant memory?

Spoiler arlette: it's rarely down to chance.

Either way, it's significant. Behind this choice lie real clues about your approach to pleasure, your appetite for novelty, and ultimately your view of the world.

So we decided to put some applied pédagojouie into practice: based on the sex toy you chose first, here's what we can (kindly, with all our love, we know) deduce about you.

But why your first choice says a lot

We know it — the sex toy aisle can be dizzying the first time. Between the shapes, the materials, the promises of new sensations, everyone ended up gravitating towards something specific. Not by chance: by instinct, by curiosity, or because a word in the description spoke to you more than another.

This instinct is not without meaning. It tells the story of your relationship with the unknown, your comfort level with exploration, your way of embracing pleasure — solo, as a duo, with more... It is therefore absolutely ESSENTIAL.

So, ready to see yourself in one of the profiles below? (And if you're torn between two, we'll tell you now that's completely normal — we're rarely just one box.)

Team dildo: the safe bet

You, you didn't need any frills. No vibrations, no remote control, no Bluetooth mode: just the essentials, well thought out. You seem like the type who knows what they want, without getting distracted by what glitters. In real life, we'd guess you're pragmatic — the type to choose quality over flashiness. A mark of quality, literally.

Team vibrator: a curiosity for sensations

You, you wanted to try something new, but not too much all at once. The vibrator is the perfect middle ground: accessible, versatile, and no complicated in practice. We sense in you a measured curiosity, not impulsive… you move forward, but you like to understand what you're doing before throwing yourself in headfirst. A methodical explorer, in short.

Team rabbit: you want it all, right now

Why choose between two zones when you can have it all? Your first instinct was to go for maximum efficiency. We sense a personality who doesn't like doing things by halves, who gets straight to the point, and who has never been afraid to ask for more. Team optimisation, team "if we're going to do it, we do it properly".

Team contactless stimulator: you're ahead of the curve

You, you wanted the most cutting-edge tech from your very first try. No direct contact, pressure waves, an almost futuristic concept for a first purchase: we sense someone who likes to stay ahead of the curve, who does their research before buying, and who isn't afraid to try something they were never taught about at school. A true pioneer.

Team vibrating egg: strategy and discretion

You, you went for the compact format — easy to carry, easy to hide in a toiletry bag. We see a personality who likes to stay in control of what they show and what they keep to themselves. No fuss: just efficiency, in complete privacy.

Team anal plug: you think out of the box

Your first choice was drawn towards a zone we still explore far too little, often through lack of information rather than lack of desire. That choice says one thing: you don't let yourself be dictated to by other people's taboos. You do your research, you move at your own pace, and you don't need it to be "the norm" to feel it's for you.

Team connected sex toy: you're in love

You, straight away, you were thinking for two. App, remote control, long-distance connection: your first purchase already carried the idea of sharing, even when distance gets in the way. We sense someone who thinks relationship before they even think about the object, and who loves staying connected even when not everyone is in the same room.

And what if you don't fit into any box?

Well, maybe you're the real winner... Not because the other teams lost, mind you, but because you seem to have a foot in every aisle without feeling obliged to pick just one. A bit like that person who answers "it depends on the day" when asked whether they're more of a tea or coffee person: not indecision, not a communication strategy, just... THE TRUTH.

And if we look at this calmly, this quiz was never meant to box you in permanently. It's more of an excuse to talk about a subject we still approach far too rarely with lightness. Your first sex toy says above all where you were at that precise moment in your life — not who you're supposed to stay forever. Some start with the simple, others with the deep end, and both sometimes find themselves, a few years later, exploring exactly what they thought they'd never try.

In short, whether we found you in a box or nowhere in this article, the essentials remain the same: what you fancy today matters more than what your first purchase said about you.

So, tell us in the comments: team dildo, team rabbit, or team "I didn't tick any box and I'm perfectly fine with that"? 

WE WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING

Xoxo