What your first sex toy reveals about your personality

Hello venerable octopus tentacles,

August means... yes, a heatwave, but also... A PERSONALITY TEST! Come on, we can see you on the beach, rubbing out a couple of answers to skew the result towards what suits you ;)

So of course, we’re offering you one our way <3

Did you buy your first sex toy yesterday, or is it already a distant memory?

Spoiler alert: it’s rarely down to chance.

In both cases, it’s meaningful. Behind this choice lie real clues about your approach to pleasure, your appetite for novelty and, ultimately, your view of the world.

So we decided to do a little applied pédagojouie: depending on the sex toy you chose first, here’s what we can (gently, with all our love, we know ourselves) infer about you.

But why your first choice says a lot

We know it: the sex toy section can feel overwhelming the first time. Between the shapes, materials and promises of unprecedented sensations, everyone ended up gravitating towards something specific. Not by chance: through instinct, curiosity, or because one word in the description spoke to you more than another.

This instinct is no small thing. It says something about your relationship with the unknown, your comfort level with exploration, your way of getting to know pleasure, solo, as a couple, with more people... It is therefore absolutely ESSENTIAL.

So, ready to see yourself in one of the profiles below? (And if you’re hesitating between two, we’ll tell you now: that’s completely normal, we’re rarely just one box.)

Team dildo: the safe bet

You didn’t need any frills. No vibrations, no remote control, no Bluetooth mode: just the essentials, well designed. You seem like the type who knows what they want, without being distracted by shiny things. In real life, we imagine you’re pragmatic, the kind to choose quality over flashiness. A mark of quality, literally.

Team vibe: curiosity about sensations

You wanted to try something new, but not too much all at once. A vibe is the perfect middle ground: accessible, versatile, without anything complicated in practice. We can sense a calm, not impulsive curiosity in you... you move forward, but you like to understand what you’re doing before diving fully in. A methodical explorer, in short.

Team rabbit: you want it all, right away

Why choose between two zones when you can have it all? Your first instinct was to aim for maximum efficiency. We can tell you’re someone who doesn’t like doing things halfway, gets straight to the point, and has never been afraid to ask for more. Team optimisation, team "if we do it, we do it properly".

Team contactless stimulator : you’re ahead of the curve

You wanted the most cutting-edge tech from your very first try. No direct contact, pressure waves, an almost futuristic concept for a first purchase: we can tell you like to be ahead of the curve, do your research before buying, and aren’t afraid to try something no one ever explained to you at school. A pioneer at heart.

Team vibrating egg: strategy and discretion

You went for the compact format, easy to carry and easy to hide in a toiletry bag. We see a personality that likes to stay in control of what they show and what they keep to themselves. No big fuss: just efficiency, in complete privacy.

Team anal plug: you think outside the box

Your first choice was a zone that is still explored too little, often due to a lack of information rather than a lack of desire. This choice says one thing: you don’t let other people’s taboos dictate your choices. You do your research, move at your own pace, and don’t need something to be "the norm" to feel concerned.

Team connected sex toy: you’re in love

You went straight for two. App, remote control, remote connection: your first purchase already carried the idea of sharing, even when distance gets involved. We can tell you’re someone who thinks about the relationship before even thinking about the object, and who likes to maintain the connection even when not everyone is in the same room.

And what if you don’t fit into any category?

Well, maybe you’re the real winner... Not because the teams next door have lost, but because you seem to have a foot in every department without feeling obliged to choose just one. A bit like the person who answers "it depends on the day" when asked whether they’re more tea or coffee: neither indecision nor a communication strategy, just... THE TRUTH.

And if we look at it calmly, this quiz was never meant to put you in a box forever. It’s more of an excuse to talk about a subject we still approach too rarely with lightness. Your first sex toy mainly says where you were at that precise moment in your life, not who you’re supposed to remain forever. Some start with the simple stuff, others with the big leap, and both sometimes find themselves, a few years later, exploring exactly what they thought they would never try.

In short, whether you found yourself in one category or nowhere in this article, the important thing remains the same: what you fancy today matters more than what your first purchase said about you.

So, tell us in the comments: team dildo, team rabbit, or team "I didn’t tick any box and I’m totally fine with it"? 

WE WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING

Xoxo