Top or Bottom: breaking free from stereotypes

You've surely already heard of people who define themselves as "top" or "bottom" (i.e. "above" and "below" in non-Shakespearean language). But what do these terms really mean in the context of an intimate relationship? Are there multiple meanings? Does everyone need to have a defined status in their love life/sex life? Top or Bottom: should we break free from stereotypes? Here's our take:

What does it mean to be "top" or "bottom"?

Well, Jamy, that depends on the context. Let us explain:

• In the gay community, the "top" person (contrary to what one might think) is not the one who is "on top" but the one who penetrates the other. You don't need to have won Question pour un Champion to figure out the meaning of the other term.
• In the context of BDSM, there is a dominant/submissive dimensions behind these terms. In fact, people tend to use "Dom" (the person who dominates) and "Sub" (the person who "submits", "surrenders")
• While these terms emerged in the gay community, they now extend to all sexual orientations. In the context of heterosexual relationships, the terms "top" and "bottom" will be used more to refer to physical position (above gold below the other person) than to penetration as such.

What do I do with this information?

It is important not to take these terms too literally in a relationship. For example, just because one person most often penetrates the other does not mean they won't want to switch roles from time to time. It's like having to make love in the same position every time... a bit boring, no? Top gold Bottom: we must break free from stereotypes. Do what gives you pleasure, and if you need to switch from "top" to "bottom" 15 times during a single encounter, that's perfectly ok!