Top or Bottom: breaking free from stereotypes

You have surely already heard of people who define themselves as "top" or "bottom" (or "above" and "below" in non-Shakespearean language). But what do these terms really mean in the context of an intimate relationship? Are there multiple meanings? Does everyone need to have a defined status in love/in sexual life? Top or Bottom: should we break free from stereotypes? Here is our opinion:

What does it mean to be "top" or "bottom"?

Well Jamy, it depends on the context. Let us explain:

• In the gay community, the "top" person (contrary to what one might think) is not the one who is "on top" but the one who penetrates the other. No need to have won Question for a Champion to find the meaning of the other term.
• In the context of BDSM, there is a dominant/submissive dimension behind these terms. We rather talk about "Dom" (the person who dominates) and "Sub" (the person who "submits", "yields")
• If these terms appeared in the gay community, they now extend to all sexual orientations. In the context of heterosexual relationships, the terms "top" and "bottom" will be more used to talk about physical position (above or below the other) than penetration per se.

What do I do with this info?

It is important not to take these terms too literally in a relationship. For example, just because a person most often penetrates the other, it doesn't mean they won't want to switch roles from time to time. It's like having to make love all the time in the same position ... a bit boring, right? Top or Bottom: we must break free from stereotypes. Do what gives you pleasure, and if you need to switch from "top" to "bottom" 15 times during the same act, that's okay!