Advice for a First Time with a New Partner

As you know, spring is the best season for getting frisky. In fact, for the past few days, you've been feeling a flutter through every part of you just thinking about the dimples of your crush you met at last Saturday's party between two strawberry Mojitos. The first date is tonight and you know full well you won't just be playing it safe. A slight wave of panic breaks your inner peace and you start imagining everything that could (go wrong). As love/sex pros, we've listed our best advice to help you nail this first time with your new partner.

The ideal location

To feel as comfortable as possible, it's important to meet your new partner in a place you know. For reasons of comfort, but also safety, we recommend inviting the person to your home. Being on familiar ground helps you keep your bearings and makes it easier to trust the other person. It's also useful to know where things you might need are (toilet, bathroom, bedroom, toy box...).

Getting ready, but not too much

We can see you coming, you big bundle of nerves! Everything new is always a little scary. It's therefore normal to feel apprehensive on the day, but that's no reason to clutter your mind with all sorts of speculation like: "What if they don't laugh at my jokes?", "What if they find me repulsive?", "What if I have terrible breath?". Pretend you're going to dinner with your mates and try to convince yourself that everything will go well, + = + as a certain Léna would say! On the bathroom front, it's the same: there's no point spending hours in front of the mirror (unless that's how you normally get ready — no judgement!).

The three Cs rule (no, it's not the one you're thinking of)

Communication

The key to any successful sexual encounter is open and honest communication. If you feel comfortable with the person, discuss your expectations, boundaries and preferences together. Express your desires and be attentive to your partner's needs.

Consent

We can never say it enough: mutual respect and acknowledgement of each person's boundaries are the guarantors of a successful sexual experience. Make sure you obtain your partner's clear consent at every stage of the sexual encounter, and vice versa.

Contraception

Shared responsibility when it comes to contraception helps strengthen the feeling of trust and safety in a sexual relationship. It's therefore important to be clear on this point so you can be 100% in the present moment and allow yourself to let go in the arms of this very special partner.

Relaxation and letting go

The logical next step is therefore to let go and vibrate together. Focus on your breathing and your mutual pleasure and everything should go wonderfully! If that's not the case, think back to the three Cs rule and cut things short. These things happen more often than you think, and if you've communicated well with the person beforehand, they have no reason to take it badly.

Here is our advice for a first time with a new sexual partner. As exciting and intimidating as this moment may be, you should now be able to approach it in a calmer and more serene way. Finally, stay true to yourself and you'll find the puzzle piece or pieces you fit together with!

Love to you all! 💜