Tips for a first time with a new partner

As you know, spring is the best season for sex. For the past few days, you’ve been all aflutter just thinking about the dimples of that crush you met at last Saturday’s party over a couple of strawberry mojitos. Your first date is tonight, and you know you won’t be spending it playing SOS Monkey. A little wave of panic interrupts your inner peace as you start imagining everything that could go wrong. As love and sex pros, we’ve put together our best tips to help you feel ready for your first time with a new partner.

The ideal setting

To feel as comfortable as possible, it's important to meet your new partner somewhere you know. For comfort as well as safety, we recommend inviting them to your place. Being on familiar ground helps you keep your bearings and find it easier to trust the other person. It's also handy to know where things are that you might need (bathroom, bedroom, toy box…).

Prepare yourself, but not too much

We can see you coming, you big bundle of nerves! Everything new is always a little scary. It's perfectly normal to feel apprehensive about the big day, but that's no reason to clutter your mind with all sorts of speculation like: "What if they don't laugh at my jokes?", "What if they find me repulsive?", "What if I have terrible breath?". Pretend you're going to dinner with your mates and try to convince yourself that everything will be fine — positive vibes only, as a certain Léna would say! The same goes for the bathroom: there's no point spending hours in front of the mirror (unless that's just how you normally get ready — no judgement!).

The three C rule (no, not the one you're thinking of)

Communication

The key to any successful sexual experience is open and honest communication. If you feel comfortable with the person, talk together about your expectations, your boundaries and your preferences. Express your desires and be attentive to your partner's needs.

Consent

We can never say it enough: mutual respect and acknowledging each other's boundaries are the hallmarks of a successful sexual experience. Make sure you have your partner's clear consent at every stage of the encounter, and vice versa.

Contraception

Sharing responsibility for contraception helps build a sense of trust and safety in a sexual relationship. It's therefore important to get this sorted beforehand so you can be 100% in the present moment and allow yourself to let go in the arms of this very special partner.

Relaxation and letting go

The natural next step is to let go and enjoy the moment together. Focus on your breathing and your mutual pleasure, and everything should go wonderfully! If it doesn't, think back to the three C rule and cut things short. These things happen more often than you'd think, and if you've communicated well with the person beforehand, they have no reason to take it badly.

So there you have our tips for a first time with a new sexual partner. As exciting and intimidating as it may be, hopefully you can now approach it with a little more calm and confidence. Above all, stay true to yourself and you’ll find the puzzle piece — or pieces — you click with!

Sending love! 💜