Sexting, or the art of keeping desire alive from afar

A day at work, Grandma putting her back out… There are plenty of reasons your partner might be away. And of course, that’s usually when your libido has no intention of taking a break… damn! The stars may not be aligning for you, but you still have a few cards to play — sexting, for one. The ultimate antidote to frustration!

Anything worth doing takes a bit of practice… So before you become a sexting expert, here are a few tips to stop an awkward sext becoming the story that follows you around for the rest of the year… No need to thank me — my pleasure.

Good reasons to sext 

It’s ideal for long-distance relationships, training courses away from home, or simply everyday life: get your partner in the mood for when you’re reunited after work.

It’s also a brilliant way to break out of a rut. Whether you’ve been together for 3, 10 or 25 years, having a direct line to your partner’s libido is just as thrilling. Sweet words of love are lovely — we’re not saying otherwise — but a little spice thrown in? That’s a big YES!!

“We’ve never done anything like that, and I can’t tell them I want to”… It’s not always easy to whisper to your partner that you’re dreaming of analingus in the middle of sex when you’ve never hinted you might enjoy it. A sext can be a great way to suggest trying something new!

Your guide to steamy sexting 

You know, I don’t believe there’s any such thing as a good or bad situation… If I had to sum up sexuality today, I’d say it’s about experiences first and foremost! People reaching out to one another, introducing each other to new sensations, just when they thought it was no longer possible…

Anyone can sext, but if you haven’t quite dared to try it yet, here are a few tips to keep the mood from fizzling out:

• Keep a little mystery, but only a little. Make your message too vague and you’ll be met with a puzzled look from your sweetheart — and a reply that’s more “???” than “🔥🔥🔥”

• Call a spade a spade. Don’t be afraid to put your desires into words: “I want your tongue on my little thingy…” The intention is easy enough to guess, but it’s hardly setting pulses racing.

• Know what you want but can’t find the words? Try GIFs! Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

• Or perhaps you know what to say, but the words are burning your lips (or rather, your fingertips)… and you just can’t bring yourself to write them! Emojis are your friends… “Mmm, there’s only one thing I’ve wanted to do since this morning… Nibble your 🍒.”

Pitfalls to avoid 

• Avoid using a work phone if you can. If you upgrade to the latest iPhone and your old work handset ends up with the new intern before you’ve deleted your sensitive data, things could get awkward fast!

• Double-check the recipient. Your mum probably doesn’t want to imagine what turns you on.

The extra perk of sexting?

Unlike sending a steamy nude to your other half or current partner, which means finding somewhere you won’t be caught, a sext is much easier to send incognito!

You can discreetly unleash your naughtiest prose in the middle of a tube carriage, in the dentist’s waiting room or even in your open-plan office… Even the office gossip won’t suspect a thing.

Right then, my little scribes of love, it’s your turn. Go on, get your partner hot under the collar with some sensational sexts!

Oh, and I nearly forgot… To mix pleasure with practicality, you could slip away next time with a connected toy. Turn up the heat and use the app to activate your partner’s We Vibe. Hello, incognito orgasms — this little gem is ultra-quiet…