The 5 Love Languages

To love and be loved, it is learned and it is worked on!

Have you ever heard of the 5 love languages? Developed by Gary Chapman, an author and specialist in marriage and family, it is a very interesting concept. I would even say, important! It deserves our attention!

Once integrated, this concept can give you a new vision of your relationship. It can help bring clarity and resolve conflicts. Yes, knowing how to communicate well with your partner is always the foundation!

What is a love language?

It is simply a way of expressing love! There is the way we express our love to someone and the way we receive that love, or our sensitivity to the expressions of others. We can express our love in a certain way while being sensitive to other forms of love when they are directed at us.

According to Gary Chapman, there are 5 love languages:

Words of affirmation

These are compliments, encouragements, the verbal support you give to your partner. You like to highlight positive things and verbalize your emotions. You are the type to compliment and tell your partner that you love them.

Quality time spent together

We are talking about the emotional quality of the time spent together. Whether you are doing a super stylish activity or just chilling on your couch, it doesn't matter! What makes a quality moment is your connection. In short, your discussions and the emotional bond you create during that moment.

Gifts

These are sincere and authentic gifts, made with heart and without expecting anything in return. The gift can be material or immaterial. What matters is the intention behind it. The fact of being interested in the person, being curious to find the gift that will please and perfectly match the person. If you like to be interested in others and make them happy with small attentions specifically selected according to their personality, then you surely speak the language of gifts :)

Acts of service

Your beloved makes a detour on the way home from work to pick you up. They are always on the platform of your train when you return from the weekend. They willingly go to pick up a package for you at the post office? It is very likely that this is a way for them to express their love for you!

Physical touch

Attention, it's not about sex! Physical contact is about being tactile, loving to hug, kiss, and snuggle with the other. One can speak the language of physical contact in love but not be a tactile person by nature.

Identifying your language and that of your partner is the foundation for making your relationship last! 

Let's see a small example: you feel like your partner doesn't love you because you spend little time together. But on their side, they express their love by giving you small gifts and attentions. They think you don't love them because you don't do many favors for them. Yet, by complimenting them, you express your love... It's not easy not to speak the same language, is it?

If you don't understand your partner's language, how can you get along? Some people speak the language of physical contact, others of acts of service. What's important is to be able to understand these languages, even if we are less receptive. If physical contact is not important to you, knowing that when your partner kisses you, it is a real expression and declaration of their love allows you to feel loved and in harmony with your partner.

Once we understand how we and our partner operate, it's much easier to express our love and notice our partner's attentions!

So, what language do you speak? 💜