The 5 love languages

Loving and being loved — it's something you can learn and work on!

Have you ever heard of the 5 love languages? Developed by Gary Chapman, an author and specialist in marriage and family, it is a very interesting concept. I would even say, an important one! It's worth taking a closer look!

Once you've grasped this concept, it can give you a new vision of your relationship. It can help you see things more clearly, and resolve conflicts. Yes indeed, knowing how to communicate well with your partner is always the foundation!

What is a love language?

It's simply a way of expressing love! There is the way we express our love to someone and the way we receive that love, gold our sensitivity to others' expressions of love. We can express our love in a certain way, while being receptive to other forms of love when they are directed at us.

According to Gary Chapman, there are 5 love languages:

Words of affirmation

These are compliments, words of encouragement, and the verbal support you offer your partner. You enjoy highlighting positive things and verbalising your emotions. You're the type to give compliments and tell your partner that you love them.

Quality time spent together

Here we're talking about the emotional quality of the time spent together. Whether you're doing something super cool gold just chilling on the sofa, it doesn't matter! What makes a quality moment is your connection. In short, your conversations and the emotional bond you create during that time.

Gifts

These are sincere and authentic gifts, given from the heart and without expecting anything in return. The gift can be material gold immaterial. What matters is the intention behind it. Taking an interest in the person, being curious in order to find the gift that will please them and perfectly match their personality. If you enjoy showing interest in others and making them happy with small gestures selected specifically according to their personality, then you most likely speak the language of gift-giving:)

Acts of service 

 Your loved one makes a detour on the way home from work to come and pick you up. They are always on the platform when you come back from a weekend away. They willingly collect a parcel for you from the post office? It's very likely that this is their way of expressing their love for you!

Physical touch 

Be careful, this isn't about sex! Physical touch is about being tactile, enjoying hugs, kisses, and snuggling up to the other person. You can speak the language of physical touch in love, without necessarily being a naturally tactile person.

Identifying your own love language and that of your partner is the foundation for making your relationship last! 

Let's look at a quick example: you feel like your partner doesn't love you because you spend little time together. But on their side, they express their love by giving you small gifts and little gestures of attention. They think you don't love them because you don't do many favours for them. Yet, by giving them compliments, you're expressing your love... Not easy when you're not speaking the same language, is it?

If you don't understand your partner's language, how can you get along? Some people speak the language of physical touch, others of acts of service. What matters is being able to understand these languages, even if you're less receptive to them. If physical touch isn't important to you, knowing that when your partner kisses you it is, for them, a real expression and declaration of their love allows you to feel loved and in harmony with your other half.

Once we understand how we and our partner work, it becomes much easier to express our love and pick up on our partner's gestures of affection!

So, which language do you speak? 💜