Heeey frivolous little leaves
It's summer, the weather is lovely, it's (veryyy) hot and we want to tell you:
HEATWAVE, BRING IT ON.
What we mean by that is, it's the season for spontaneous chatter, crushes popping up around every corner (where are they in November, anyway?), wild nights and even wilder mornings… And for some, the eternal race for performance…
Hidden within are a number of misconceptions we're here to debunk, you know us!
1. Giving your partner an orgasm: the final destination?
In the common imagination, a romp that does not end in orgasm is seen as a form of failure...
Now, we must remind ourselves here that the pleasure we might associate with the journey is just as important, if not more so, and enhances intense pleasure.
Orgasm is the cherry on top of the cake, not the recipe for it. Focusing solely on this peak can create counterproductive pressure that turns a moment of connection and sensuality into an anxious quest for performance.
The shivers, the shared laughter, the intimacy of caresses, the discovery of the other, of others... It's 100% enjoyable. So come on, let's stop putting pressure on ourselves and just feel!
2. Sexual endurance is synonymous with ultimate pleasure.
SPOILER ALERT round 2: well, no.
When we picture a perfect intimate encounter, we imagine it has to go on for a long time... COME ON!
It's a myth that has been around since the dawn of time, popularised by cinema culture that has lulled us with equally interminable and noisy sex scenes.
In reality, team Quality> Quantity 💜
A few minutes of connected, attentive and truly present intimacy are infinitely more pleasurable than a mechanical, exhausting and sometimes painful hour-long marathon.
The pursuit of performance over duration can be a source of anxiety and pull us out of the moment.
- Would you like a secret?
Listening, presence and authenticity are the keys to surrendering to the other and to magic.
3. Multiplying positions maximises pleasure
SPOILER ALERT final round: still no.
We've lost count of the number of videos on social media that pop into our feeds trumpeting "THE 10 POSITIONS THAT LEAD STRAIGHT TO ORGASM"...
Save yourself a pulled muscle by chaining acrobatic positions like a gymnast at the Olympics (which you probably are not); pleasure is not a matter of variable geometry or complex choreography.
What matters is what happens within the position, not the position itself. The connection, the gaze, the movement, the rhythm, the way you touch each other...
So, shall we put the stopwatch away?
And then there's that wretched performance pressure?
Summer whispers a much simpler truth in our ear: pleasure is a playground, not a battlefield.
There is no score to beat, no diploma to earn, no finish line to cross. There are only moments to seize, skin to brush against, laughter to share and connections to electrify.
The real warmth to capture is not the kind that falls from the sky, but the kind born from the attention, curiosity and tenderness we offer one another.
Léa ☁️
A wordsmith for 10 years across a wide range of topics, I recently moved into sexology after training with Mathilde Magnien. Passionate about relational dynamics, here we chat in an open, inclusive and (slightly) humorous way.
