Heyyy there, frivolous little leaves
It's summer, the sun is shining, it's (veeery) hot and we want to tell you:
BRING ON THE HEAT IF YOU CAN.
By that we mean, it's the season of incessant chatter, crushes popping up around every corner (where are they in November, anyway?), wild nights and wild mornings… and for some, still and always the race for performance…
Hidden here are a number of misconceptions that we're debunking right here, you know us!
1. Giving your partner an orgasm: the final destination?
In the popular imagination, a sexual encounter that does not end in orgasm amounts to some form of failure...
GOLD, we must remind ourselves here that the pleasure one might associate with the journey is just as, if not more, important and conducive to intense pleasure.
Orgasm is the cherry on the cake, not the recipe for that cake. Focusing solely on this culminating point can create counterproductive pressure that turns a moment of connection and sensuality into an anxious quest for performance.
The shivers, the shared laughter, the intimacy of caresses, the discovery of the other, of others... It's enjoyable 100%. So, come on, let's stop putting pressure on ourselves and just feel!
2. Sexual endurance is synonymous with ultimate pleasure.
SPOILER ALERT round 2: well no.
When we picture the perfect intimate encounter, we imagine it should last a long time... COME ON NOW!
It's a myth that has been around since the dawn of time, popularised by film culture that raised us on never-ending, noisy sex scenes.
In reality, team Quality> Quantity 💜
A few connected, attentive, and truly present minutes are infinitely more pleasurable than a mechanical, exhausting and sometimes painful one-hour marathon.
The pursuit of stamina can be a source of anxiety and take us out of the moment.
- Would you like a secret?
Listening, presence and authenticity are the keys to letting go with another and to magic.
3. Multiplying positions maximises pleasure
SPOILER ALERT final round: still no.
We've lost count of the number of videos popping up on social media in our feeds with a blaze of "THE 10 POSITIONS THAT LEAD STRAIGHT TO ORGASM"...
Spare yourself a pulled back by chaining acrobatic moves like a gymnast at the Olympics (which you probably aren't); pleasure is not a matter of variable geometry gold complex choreography.
What matters is what happens within the position, not the position itself. The connection, the gaze, the movement, the rhythm, the way you caress each other...
So, shall we put away the stopwatch?
And then there's that damned performance pressure?
Summer whispers a much simpler truth in our ear: pleasure is a playground, not a battlefield.
There's no score to beat, no diploma to earn, no finish line to cross. There are only moments to seize, skin to brush against, laughter to share and connections to electrify.
The real warmth to capture is not the kind that falls from the sky, but the kind that is born from the attention, curiosity and gentleness we offer one another.
Léa ☁️
A wordsmith for 10 years across a variety of subjects, I recently turned to sexology after training with Mathilde Magnien. Passionate about relational dynamics, here we'll chat in an uninhibited, inclusive and (a little) funny way too.
