Sexual liberation through three women

Two days after International Women’s Day, I wanted to talk about the women who have helped us on our journey towards sexual freedom.

After all, for most of us today, walking into a shop, buying a sex toy and treating ourselves to a solo orgasm may seem increasingly normal. But that hasn’t always been the case. And let’s be honest: there’s still a way to go.

What is sexual liberation?

For women, it means freeing themselves from the control the patriarchy exerts over their sexuality and intimate lives. Sexual liberation, for example, helps break the taboo around masturbation, orgasms and fantasies among people who menstruate. Above all, it means shining a light on women’s pleasure, which has so often been pushed into the background and treated as less important than men’s. Sexual liberation means taking charge of your body, your wants and your desires, rather than letting other people decide for you.

Today, I’d like to introduce you to three women. Through their work and dedication, they have helped women live their sex lives on their own terms, and they continue to do so. They guide women as they explore their fantasies, pleasure and desires.

Let’s gooo!

Lora Haddock: the orgasm provider

Lora is the founder of the well-known intimate toy brand Lora Di Carlo. With her high-tech sex toys, she wants to give everyone the chance to experience deep, powerful, fabulous orgasms. To do that, she and her team of mostly female engineers developed a little technological marvel: the Osé. It took several years and eight patents to bring this toy to life. In 2019, the Osé won an award at a consumer technology show: Best Innovation in the “Robotics and Drones” category.

A few days later, Lora’s award was withdrawn because her product was deemed “obscene, profane and immoral”. Yet innovations aimed at male pleasure, such as inflatable dolls and augmented-reality headsets for immersive porn, had been allowed to compete at the same event without a problem... Following a public outcry and strong criticism from the media and the brand, the Osé got its award back. Since then, the brand’s founder has regularly spoken out against sexism in the tech industry.

Erika Lust: the director who brings fantasies to life

Erika is a Swedish director, screenwriter, porn producer and writer. Her mission? To bring your fantasies to life and make them beautiful. How? Through her artistic vision and female perspective.

With a team made up mostly of women, she moves away from the “male gaze” — in other words, the male perspective. This allows her to make feminist porn that doesn’t objectify women. In her films, women are no longer seen as mere objects of desire. They become the heroines and owners of their own desires and fantasies.

Her films are inclusive and erotically intelligent. The storylines range from realistic to sensual and dreamlike, all with particular attention to aesthetics. The actors’ consent and boundaries are always respected; in some films, they’re willing newcomers fulfilling their fantasies.

In her films, nothing is overacted and the pleasure isn’t faked. You won’t find close-ups, phallocentric scenes or dubious titles like “I catch my stepsister”. For Erika, erotic films aren’t just entertainment: they can also provide sex education. That’s why she tries to portray the reality of female desire and pleasure in her work. Inclusivity is central to what she does, and she makes sure everyone can see themselves represented in her films. In short, Erika Lust is bringing a breath of fresh air to the rather macho world of porn, and we’re here for it.

Betty Dodson: the queen of masturbation 

A pioneer of women’s sexual liberation, Betty Dodson was an artist, author, coach and feminist sex educator. She championed the sex-positive movement for most of her life. For over 30 years, she ran masturbation workshops to help women reclaim their bodies. She helped hundreds of women accept their vulvas and learn how to orgasm.

By 2007, her workshops had even helped more than 400 women diagnosed with anorgasmia reach orgasm. She spent half her life fighting for women who denied themselves pleasure or held themselves back to be able to enjoy it fully. For her, masturbation was a powerful tool for women’s sexual liberation, and she wanted to help as many women as possible achieve that. Through her books, videos and workshops, she shared her knowledge of sex education.

Today, her colleague Carlin Ross continues to share that knowledge through the website she founded with Betty. It’s a real treasure trove of information about masturbation, so I’d recommend taking a look if the subject interests you!