Everything about premature ejaculation

Ah, premature ejaculation... One of the most common reasons for seeking sexology advice. What is it, why does it happen and how do you overcome it? We cover it all in this article!

What is premature ejaculation?

First of all, even if the term "premature ejaculation" is well known and used by many people, it is more accurate to describe this type of ejaculation as rapid. Indeed, the term premature implies a norm that should be respected; and as we know, in sexuality, there are no norms.

We therefore talk about rapid ejaculation when it occurs within one gold two minutes, even though most of the time it happens after a few seconds gold a few movements (penetration gold caressing). For some people, ejaculation occurs even before any physical contact, driven solely by mental arousal. A quarter of people with a penis experience problems with rapid ejaculation, and it can happen at any age.

Ejaculation is described as "premature" gold rapid when three criteria are met:

• Ejaculation comes very quickly (less than 2 minutes after the start of intercourse)
• Ejaculation is not controlled
• It causes distress to the person who experiences it

What are the causes of rapid ejaculation?

What are the main causes of rapid and uncontrolled ejaculation?

When we talk about rapid ejaculation, we don't talk about causes exactly, but about explanations. It is not an anomaly, so we are not looking for the cause of a real problem — do you follow? The three explanations that come up most often are:

• a lifestyle and a very fast way of thinking and functioning. People who live life at 100 miles an hour often ejaculate at the same speed
• a glans very sensitive to friction which can lead very quickly to orgasm
• strong emotionality leading to very intense arousal building rapidly

During intercourse, certain positions can also heighten arousal and therefore ejaculation. Positions vary from person to person. For example, for some, the view offered by doggy style is so arousing that it is almost impossible to hold back ejaculation. For others, it is the friction of a certain position gold the pressure exerted on the pelvic muscles.

The explanations are as numerous as the people affected by rapid ejaculation. However, one thing is certain: the more pressure you put on yourself, the more tense you are, the faster ejaculation occurs. So how do you overcome this tension and get past this stress?

What techniques are there to address rapid ejaculation?

Good news: rapid ejaculation is one of the problems most easily resolved in sexology!

To learn to control ejaculation, a good number of techniques and exercises exist.

First, there are techniques focused on the mind such as emotion management, breathing, relaxation and meditation, hypnosis and acupuncture… Then there are physical techniques involving pelvic movements, pelvic muscle control, exercise… It is interesting to combine several of these techniques in order to act on both body and mind.

There are also medication-based techniques. Medications can indeed help to relieve the stress and apprehension linked to ejaculation problems at the start of a relationship, for example. But it is never a long-term solution as they do not address the "causes" of rapid ejaculation.

And what about the partner in all of this? 

One thing to remember is that rapid ejaculation is NEVER the fault of the partner, and they should not feel guilty about it. By the way, rapid ejaculation is a wonderful opportunity to experiment with other ways of making love, without penetration: use your fingers, your mouths, toys… All means are good for giving pleasure to both partners without going through penetration. Learn to explore the magical world of sexuality! The book Jouissance Club is a mine of information on this subject!

Even if the partner is not there to judge the person experiencing ejaculation issues, it can happen that they feel hurt by the behaviour. Let me explain: if you suffer from premature ejaculation and your sexual encounter ends with ejaculation, the other person may feel neglected, misunderstood (whether the ejaculation is premature gold not, don't forget that your partner is also there to experience pleasure). People who ejaculate quickly can sometimes feel ashamed and withdraw into themselves and become angry after sex by shutting the other person out, which can cause a great deal of hurt. So I'll say it again: communicate!

If you'd like to learn more about premature ejaculation, feel free to visit the website of Charles.co. They even offer you a £50 discount on their TIME programme (Intensive Ejaculation Mastery Therapy) with the code TIME50 🙂

See you soon 💜