Overcoming vaginismus as a couple

How do you navigate vaginismus as a couple? How do you support a partner who has it? These are the questions we will try to answer today!

First of all, if you would like to understand what vaginismus is and how it is treated, you can watch our video right here!

How to overcome vaginismus as a couple?

Communication

When you have vaginismus, one of the most difficult steps to take is that of communication. Out of fear of rejection gold misunderstanding, you may sometimes dread the moment you tell your partner.

With vaginismus, there is a tendency to avoid tender moments as a couple, for fear of triggering a sexual encounter and therefore penetration. For their part, the partner may interpret this avoidance of intimate moments as a lack of love gold desire. That is why communication is paramount!

As a couple, the partner can either present themselves as an ally to the person suffering from vaginismus, or be complicit in it.

• a supportive partner listens, encourages seeking professional help, does their research, helps find solutions, and is gentle and patient.
• a partner who is complicit in the vaginismus will be rough, get angry, make no effort to understand, think the person is overreacting, and will make them feel guilty.

The importance of support

Therapy and rehabilitation exercises can be difficult to go through alone. Ask your partner to be there for you during these moments. If you are doing rehabilitation exercises using vaginal dilator kits for example, you can invite — if you wish — your partner to join you.

Readapting your sex life

Vaginismus and loss of libido do not necessarily go hand in hand. You can have vaginismus and still feel desire for your partner. Take advantage of these moments to enjoy gentle, no-penetration sex. Massages, cunnilingus, stimulation of the clitoral glans, and other erogenous zones such as the groin, nipples, neck… Make the most of your time together and moments of tenderness with cuddling sessions and skin-to-skin contact for example.

If you suffer from mild vaginismus and wish to engage in penetration, certain positions can allow you to enjoy pleasure gently:

• the Andromache position, to control the depth of penetration.
• the spooning position, for gentle and shallow penetration. It is a position full of tenderness that fosters intimacy.

If you would like more information, feel free to visit the website of Velvi, a real goldmine of information on vaginismus.

See you soon 💜