How to approach vaginismus when you are in a relationship? How to help your partner who is affected? These are the questions we will try to answer today!

First of all, if you want to understand what vaginismus is and how it is treated, you can watch our video right here!

How to overcome vaginismus as a couple?

Communication

When affected by vaginismus, one of the most complicated steps to overcome is communication. Out of fear of rejection or misunderstanding, one might sometimes dread the moment of announcing it to their partner.

With vaginismus, there is a tendency to avoid moments of tenderness for fear of provoking a sexual relationship and thus penetration. On the other hand, the partner may interpret this avoidance of intimate moments as a lack of love or desire. That is why communication is essential!

In a relationship, the partner can either be an ally of the person suffering from vaginismus or be complicit in it.

• An ally partner listens, encourages seeking help, informs themselves, helps find solutions, and is gentle and patient
• A partner complicit in vaginismus will rush, get angry, not try to understand, think the person is exaggerating, and make them feel guilty

The importance of support

Therapy and rehabilitation exercises can be difficult to go through alone. Ask your partner to be there for you during these times. If you are doing rehabilitation exercises with a set of vaginal dilators, for example, you can invite your partner to join you if you wish.

Readapting your sexuality

Vaginismus and loss of libido do not necessarily go hand in hand. One can have vaginismus and still feel desire for their partner. Take advantage of these moments to engage in gentle and non-penetrative sex. Massages, cunnilingus, stimulation of the clitoral glans, and other erogenous zones like the groin, nipples, neck... Enjoy intimate moments and tenderness with cuddling and skin-to-skin sessions, for example.

If you suffer from mild vaginismus and wish to practice penetration, certain positions may allow you to enjoy it gently:

• The cowgirl position, to control the depth of penetration
• The spooning position, for gentle and shallow penetration. It is a position full of tenderness and promotes intimacy

If you want more information, feel free to visit the Velvi website, a true goldmine of information on vaginismus.

See you soon 💜