Complete guide to breaking up

Whether it's by mutual agreement or not, splitting up with your partner is rarely a barrel of laughs. To help you get through this not-so-fun period, we've put together a complete guide to breaking up. You'll see, things will get better afterwards! 💗

Take stock 🧐

In principle, we don't break up without a reason. Whether your relationship has lasted months, years or longer, it's very likely that you're no longer on the same wavelength. What matters isn't knowing why or because of whom, but acknowledging and accepting that you've changed (or haven't), that things no longer click, and that it's affecting your happiness.

Being in a relationship isn’t an end in itself, but a way to make your life better, so it makes sense to end one if it becomes more of a burden than a source of happiness. Just be careful not to slip into a "Tinder era" and move on from someone the moment one little detail bothers you. Starting a relationship, and especially staying in one, takes effort from both sides if you both really want to be together. What matters is working out how much the issues you’re facing with your partner weigh on you, and how willing you are to compromise to get past them! (Read 👉 "The 4 stages of a relationship" )

Accept the pain 💔

If you're suffering too much and feel the relationship isn't worth continuing, it might hurt a little at first. That's normal. The brain always takes a little time to adjust to change (did you know it takes around 15 days to establish a new habit?). It's very likely that you'll miss the person (a lot). That's normal too. Let yourself experience these emotions and work through them patiently. You'll see that, like everything in life, it will eventually pass.

Ban the stalking ❌

When we miss the other person and have lost contact, we're tempted to snoop on what they're up to right now / whether they're dating someone else, etc. #nosy

The best advice is to avoid doing this, because it won’t do you much good. If you see them with someone else, it’ll hurt like hell. And if you don’t find any juicy details, chances are you’ll still keep overthinking things (ah, that pesky brain!). So we’d suggest using this time on your own to focus on YOU, your friends, your toys, your job, your passion... Anything that brings you joy during this rather rubbish time.

Take your time 🧘

Relapses are possible. Don't beat yourself up if you cave, as it happens very often and it's not the end of the world (it's still better to avoid it though — we see you coming). The main thing is to learn from your mistakes and use these experiences to remind yourself of what was no longer working in your relationship. You probably had a nice time over that reunion coffee with Bertrand, but didn't it drive you mad when he threw a jealous fit in front of the waiter even though he's not even your boyfriend anymore? In short, learn from your mistakes and take the time to move on. It might take a few weeks, months, years — but if you're sure of your decision, it's worth the wait, you'll see.

And there you have it! We hope this complete guide to breaking up will help soothe your little heart... Don't forget that everyone goes through it at least once in their life, and there's nothing dramatic about splitting up with your partner — that's life! We wish you courage and a happy return to the single life (or not).

Take care of yourself 💜