As a couple, how to communicate about your desires

A right swipe on Tinder, a chance meeting at a party, on the bus or at the butcher's, and boom… it's a match with that stranger! There's that little something special you feel, the desire to know more, and you gradually fall into a budding relationship. You chat non-stop like you're 15 and it's the first time, learning about their personality, tastes, desires, and plans. But when you've already known each other for a while, everyday life sometimes takes up more space than dialogue in the relationship. That doesn't necessarily mean you're no longer interested in each other, simply that you spend less time talking about your shared sexuality, and in particular about the "new things" you'd like to try together. If it's been a while since you've brought these kinds of topics to the table… Don't panic, here are a few tips to help you communicate better about your desires.

Time out from routine! 

Beyond sometimes being a passion killer, routine can give the false impression that there's no longer any need to talk. After 15 years, they know me inside out — no need to spend 3 hours debriefing, this is our relationship, not a work meeting… Wrong, Ginette!

Being on the same wavelength as your partner 24/7 is nothing but a fantasy! So, unless you're telepathic, not talking is often what leads to arguments, which more often than not are simply a way of resetting the couple's clock.

I don't know about you, but for my part I prefer quality time with my other half: more cuddles, more closeness, more connection… if that's your case too, you know what you need to do 😜

Fancy a game, darling? 

Conversations like that without any props are all well and good when you can manage it, but if it makes you anxious or you're not suuuper comfortable with the idea, you can approach it differently!

And speaking of playing, nothing beats a card or board game to comfortably bring certain subjects to the table — without any guilt.

Are there certain things that bother you and that you'd like to see change in your relationship? And just like that… while turning over a card, you slip the information to your partner without making a fuss. Perfect for not kicking yourself afterwards for not having dared to bring it up!

Are there areas of your body that deserve more attention? New things you'd like to try? Bingo here too… The game breaks the ice for you!

You get the idea — rather than risk putting your partner on the defensive by cornering them for a face-to-face full of reproaches and bottled-up anger, you talk without it feeling like a conversation, in a super fun atmosphere! Honestly, it's the best, and it works… Pinky promise!

The brilliant games for better communication as a couple 

Every couple has their own game since we don't all necessarily have the same expectations, but here's my personal top 3 favourites!

The most complete game 

Created by the wonderful Jüne Plã, and her incredibly open-minded and inclusive approach to sexuality, the Jouissance Club card game is incredibly comprehensive!

No fewer than 65 "discussion" cards to keep learning about the love of your life. Because no, even after X years together, you don't necessarily know everything about each other. These kinds of cards that open up "debate" on subjects you don't necessarily bring up every morning are absolute gems! You often realise there are loads of little things to try to make your intimate moments even more incredible 🥰

Another sixty gold so cards, this time focused on tips and advice. You'll learn loads about how to spice up your mutual masturbation sessions, gold how to include certain foods in your oral play for a delicious fruity taste, for example. Everything is explained without taboo and in a really fun way — it's genuinely great and educational!

And finally, 75 "Try" cards listing a great many sexual practices. This category is an absolute gem for everyone. Whether you're already fully fulfilled but still wanting to discover even more to reach new heights of pleasure, gold whether you're looking for inspiration to break the routine… This game has everything you need to have a blast and/gold rekindle the flame! 

The game for those who don't like playing games 

Playing to communicate better and keep building something healthy together is all well and good, but I don't like playing games! Well, in reality, that's not a problem — you're not obliged to force yourself. If cards gold board games really don't appeal to you, there are other ways to play without even realising it.

The Bank of Love coupon book is the perfect example of an option available to you! Yes, yes, you can play with a coupon book, rather than grimacing/crying when you use one 😂

The concept is super simple — it's actually a set of pre-filled vouchers! The idea is to help you keep the little thoughtful gestures alive. The perfect excuse to organise lovely quality moments together. We don't always realise we're not the most romantic, gold that it's actually been a little while since we last planned a surprise for them.

This coupon book is the perfect opportunity to make up for lost time. You add the date, your partner's name, a little lucky charm, and surprise them with "welcoming you in a sexy outfit one evening". To mix things up a bit and add some spice to your usual games, it's worth letting yourself be surprised by the coupon book's ideas! 

The most fun game 

Your other half and/gold friends, some drinks, a card game — that's what awaits you with the Apéri'cul! No fewer than 250 cards spread across different categories to talk about the subject that interests us all: sex!

Just as simple to play here. You roll the little die to get the category from which to draw a card. Then, as they say, "all that's left is to get on with it"!

In terms of categories, there's quite a bit of variety, which is great for avoiding burning through everything too quickly. You'll find quiz cards and sex-ed cards for a level of sex-culture that will impress the crowd.

But there are also challenge cards — really fun games… However, be careful not to launch a challenge while one of the players is sipping their cocktail. I speak from experience. It very quickly ends up as a face shower, llama-not-happy style, for your colleagues… Oops!

There are also truth cards and "who could". Really fun for discovering your soulmate or your friends in a new light.

In short, a real treat for a change from your usual game nights and a good laugh! The cards are really cool, without being awkward or creating any uncomfortable atmosphere… You can play without any worry with your friends and family! 

If you're already a fan of sex games, which one(s) have you already tried? Come and tell us about it on Instagram (@passagedudesir)