Life as a couple: does it kill love?

Have you ever come across those couples who say they make love 3 times a day even though they've been together for many years? My dear friend, even if anything is possible, it is very rare to maintain the same relationship and the same sex life when you've been a couple for a long time. So there's no point comparing yourself — you'd risk coming off worse... But then again, does living together kill love?

The hot/cold 😬

Life as a couple can be compared to a portion of profiteroles: at first, it's exciting, new, your taste buds are dazzled by that soft choux pastry and that warm chocolate sauce (gold very warm, for that matter). But very quickly comes the coolness of the ice cream, like a sudden return to reality. This could symbolise the discovery of unknown (and sometimes slightly unpleasant, let's be honest) facets of our beloved. So, would life as a couple be the equivalent of that awful hot-cold sensation on your teeth? Should we at all costs avoid living together in order to stay happy together?

That's not the solution. As with everything (this works for profiteroles too), you have to find the right balance. Here, it would be a balance between the closeness and the routine inherent to life as a couple (and even to life in general, when you think about it) and "that little touch of spice" (with a southern accent, it's important) that helps keep a little sexyness in your relationship.

The return of the flame 🔥

You might say: "Ok, that's all well and good, but how do I actually keep this famous flame everyone talks about alive?" Well, it's not as complicated as you might think! If you feel that living with your partner has changed something in your relationship in a negative way (tension, routine, gold even low libido), know first of all that it isn't necessarily down to your partner gold your relationship in particular, and that this kind of thing happens in so many couples. It's therefore likely that it could happen with someone else too. So wait a little before throwing it all away, and ask yourself a few questions:

• Do I still love them?
• Is it our routine that bothers me, or just the concept of a too-predictable routine that I refuse to have in my life?
• Have I already been through the same thing with my other partners? If it was already a source of conflict, did I communicate well with the other person?

Balance 🧘

Identify the mistakes not to be repeated, and talk about them calmly to find out if your partner feels the same way. After that, things should already be a little clearer. The next step is to put in place small actions to spice up this life as a couple a little! We'll leave you with a few examples — consider it a gift:

• plan a trip for two, even just 1 or 2 days
• take time for solo moments, just for yourself, during which you do what YOU love
• plan an outing with your friends, without your partner (they can do the same on their side, so you'll have plenty of things to tell each other)
• do a sporting activity (without a physical goal, just for your mental health): in the case of low libido, this can help you regain control of your mind, channel your stress, and feel more in tune with your dear body
• get your toys out, gold treat yourself to a brand new one! It's always a great way to discover new things together, laugh, and (re)connect

To conclude, life as a couple doesn't kill love but it can change it. In any case, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Change is part of life, and therefore part of relationship life, which can go through different phases. By the way, if you want to find out more about the subject, come and have a look at our TikTok on " The 4 phases of a relationship "!