The most common things people say in bed and beyond

Ah... dirty talk! You know, those little things you whisper in your partner’s ear to guide them towards what they want and turn up the heat. According to an Australian study , 92% of people talk during sex!

That figure might seem huge, and I can already hear some of you thinking, “There must be something wrong with me... Everyone does it, but it’s just not my thing!”

NO! There’s nothing wrong with you. Nobody would look at you strangely if you said you didn’t like Brussels sprouts. So why should anyone judge you if dirty talk does nothing for you? As they say, there’s no accounting for taste... And does it really matter what other people think, or what they do or don’t do? No, it doesn’t 😜 The only thing that really matters is commu-nicating with your partner to make sparks fly together. That’s all there is to it!

Right, let’s get into the most popular naughty things people say!

Talk dirty to me*: the classics 

*Talk dirty to me

From the phrase that slips out and flatters your partner’s ego almost without you meaning to, to the seriously steamy line, everyone has their own dirty-talk style!

• The dominant approach: “I’m going to give you the best oral sex of your life!”, “Give me your hands, I’m going to tie you up!” and so on. Basically, you announce the naughty things you’re about to do... Yum, as long as everyone consents!!!

• The possessive approach: They’re YOUR partner, and you remind them how much they mean to you... Even in bed (or elsewhere!). It might be a romantic “My love!” or another sweet nickname, or something a little more intense, as long as there’s a “my” in there...

• The fantasy approach: This is the perfect time to dare to talk about it! “I’d love to see you sleep with them!”, “Take the remote and turn on my toy whenever you want!”

• The teamwork approach: You know what you want and tell your partner so you can reach a climax! “Touch me at the same time!”, “Go faster!” and so on.

• The encouragement approach: You like what your partner’s doing, you want them to keep going, and you let them know. Think “Keep going, you’re going to make me come!”, “More!” or “That feels so good!”

• The full-on romantic approach: An “I love you!” in the middle of sex can have quite an effect and spice up what happens next... Things could get intense, unless you only met them two hours ago! Oops...

• The sounds: OK, we’re here to talk about the best phrases for turning up the heat... These aren’t phrases, but let’s be honest: moans, or even a drawn-out “Yesss!” whispered in your ear? We love it!

The pitfalls to avoid: 

First off, trying it because you’ve read, seen or heard that everyone loves it is a bad idea! For one thing, there’s no point doing something just because everyone else does: we all like different things. Your partner might not enjoy it, and they may not have consented to it in the first place.

Unfortunately, there’s no secret recipe for perfect dirty talk. The best thing is to be honest! Stay true to yourself. The more what you say sounds like you, the more exciting it will be. Be yourself!

Of course, some phrases are more exciting than others! Describing what you’d like to do to your partner or have them do to you, or talking about your fantasies, will often have more impact than a casual “Can you feel it?” or “I’m going to put it in”...

What about you: are you for or against dirty talk? What do you like to say or hear?