Glossary of sexual orientations: bisexuality, pansexuality, asexuality...

Warm and passionate greetings,

It never hurts to go back to basics. Today we're here to clarify things for some, shed light for others, and share a glossary of the different sexual, romantic and relational orientations.

First of all, a disclaimer seems necessary: here, we will be exploring sensibilities you may recognise in yourself, tools for self-understanding — IN NO WAY are we attempting to draw an inextricable framework with "correct" definitions.

That being said...

Why has defining one's sexual orientation become a matter of wellbeing?

For decades, society operated on a broadly binary model. You were either "within the norm" or outside it. Today, thankfully, the search for sexual identity has become a personal journey towards fulfilment. Understanding one's own orientation is not a matter of trend but relates to mental health and self-esteem.

Putting words to sometimes complex feelings (such as sexual fluidity or a lack of attraction) is the first step that allows you to give yourself permission to live a more authentic intimate life. It is also an excellent way to communicate your needs more precisely to your partner or partners.

The complete guide to sexual orientations: beyond bisexuality

To navigate the diversity of desires, it is essential to master the nuances of current vocabulary. Here are the key terms for decoding the spectrum of attraction.

Bisexuality (bi): moving beyond the clichés

Bisexuality is often wrongly defined as an equal attraction to so-called men and so-called women. In reality, a bisexual person is attracted to more than one gender (their own and others). It is a plural orientation that encompasses both binary and non-binary genders.

Pansexuality: love beyond gender

What is the difference between pansexual and bisexual? A pansexual person feels physical or emotional attraction to a person regardless of their biological sex or gender identity. In practice: gender simply isn't a factor in desire.

Polysexuality

Not to be confused with polyamory (which concerns the number of partners), polysexuality refers to attraction to multiple genders (which is not the same as attraction to all existing genders.)

Sapiosexuality and demisexuality: when the brain leads the way

Attraction is not always aesthetic or physical at first glance. Sometimes it is purely cerebral; visceral, sensitive.

What is a sapiosexual person?

Sapiosexuality is an orientation in which sexual arousal is triggered by a perception of another person's intelligence.

For a sapiosexual person, a brilliant conversation, wide-ranging knowledge or a sharp wit is far more erotic than a perfect physique. The brain becomes the primary sexual organ.

Understanding demisexuality

Demisexuality falls within the asexuality spectrum. A demisexual person can only experience sexual desire after forming a deep and stable emotional connection. Sexual "love at first sight" does not exist for them; everything goes through a prior emotional bond.

The asexuality spectrum: when desire is absent or low-key

Asexuality (Ace) is often the forgotten one in discussions about sexuality. Yet it affects around 1% of the population.

• Asexuality: the absence of sexual attraction towards others. It is not an illness, a trauma, or chosen abstinence, but simply a way of being in the world.

• Grey-sexuality: Sitting in the "grey area" between allosexuality (experiencing desire) and asexuality. Desire is present, but very rarely or very faintly.

Sexual orientation vs romantic orientation: the distinction that can boost your fulfilment

This is arguably the most important point for letting go of guilt. It is entirely possible to separate sexual desire from romantic feelings. This is what is known as the split attraction model.

1. Sexual orientation: who does your libido point towards? (e.g. heterosexual, homosexual).

2. Romantic (or affective) orientation: who do you fall in love with? (e.g. biromantic, aromantic).

In short, you can be sexually attracted to all genders (pansexual), yet only want to build a romantic relationship with so-called women (gyneromantic). Understanding this distinction helps you adjust your expectations and relationships.

Why is sexual fluidity the key to freedom?

If these labels exist, they are not permanent contracts. Sexual fluidity (sexual fluidity) describes the possibility of one's orientation evolving over time, through experience and encounters.

This is where the term queer comes into its own. Originally an insult, it was reclaimed as a rallying cry: it refers to anyone who rejects heteronormative standards and fixed labels. Being queer means asserting the right not to be put in a definitive box.

Your questions about orientations

Are we born with a sexual orientation?

Science suggests a combination of biological, hormonal and environmental factors. But what matters most is not so much the "origin" as the present experience.

Can you be sapiosexual and heterosexual at the same time?

Absolutely! Orientations can overlap. A so-called heterosexual man (attracted to so-called women) may only experience desire when that woman is particularly brilliant (sapiosexual).

Why do we talk about a "spectrum"?

Because nothing is entirely black or white. Like a colour gradient, there are infinite shades between each definition.

Ultimately, whether you're pan, bi, ace, or you reject any word ending in "-sexual", what matters most is consent, kindness and pleasure. Words are there to help us find ourselves, not to limit us.

Here, we celebrate and will always celebrate every form of passion, Love wherever you choose to place it? 

We can't wait to read your stories in the comments!

xoxo