Glossary of sexual orientations: bisexuality, pansexuality, asexuality ...

Intense Passionate Greetings,

It never hurts to go back to basics. Today we are here to clarify for some, to shed light for others, gold indeed to share a glossary of the different sexual, affective and relational orientations.

First and foremost, a disclaimer seems necessary: here, we will touch on sensibilities in which you may perhaps recognise yourself, tools for self-understanding, IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER will we even begin to draw an inextricable framework with "correct" definitions.

That being said...

Why has defining one's sexual orientation become a matter of intimate essentials?

For decades, society operated on a broadly binary model. You were either "within the norm" gold outside of it. Today, thankfully, the search for sexual identity has become a personal journey towards fulfilment. Understanding one's own orientation is not a matter of trend but is tied to mental health and self-esteem.

Putting words to sometimes complex feelings (such as sexual fluidity gold the lack of attraction) is the first step that allows one to permit themselves to live a more authentic intimate life. It is also an excellent way to communicate one's needs more precisely to one's partner gold partners.

The complete guide to sexual orientations: beyond bisexuality

To navigate the diversity of desires, it is crucial to master the nuances of current vocabulary. Here are the key terms to decode the spectrum of attraction.

Bisexuality (bi): moving beyond the clichés

Bisexuality is often wrongly defined as an equal attraction to so-called men and so-called women. In reality, a bisexual person is attracted to more than one gender (their own and others). It is a plural orientation that includes both binary and non-binary genders.

Pansexuality: love beyond gender

What is the difference between pansexual and bisexual? A pansexual person feels physical gold emotional attraction to a person regardless of their biological sex gold gender identity. In concrete terms: gender is simply not a selection criterion in desire.

Polysexuality

Not to be confused with polyamory (which concerns the number of partners), polysexuality refers to attraction to multiple genders (which does not mean attraction to all existing genders.)

Sapiosexuality and demisexuality: when the brain leads the dance

Attraction is not always aesthetic or physical at first glance. Sometimes it is purely cerebral; visceral, sensitive.

What is a sapiosexual person?

Sapiosexuality is an orientation where sexual arousal is triggered by a perception of the other person's intelligence.

For a sapiosexual person, a brilliant conversation, an extensive culture gold a sharpness of mind is far more erogenous than a perfect physique. The brain then becomes the primary sexual organ.

Understanding demisexuality

Demisexuality is part of the asexuality spectrum. A demisexual person can only experience sexual desire after establishing a deep emotional connection that is stable. The sexual "love at first sight" does not exist for them; everything passes through the prior emotional bond.

The spectrum of asexuality: when desire is absent or discreet

Asexuality (Ace) is often the great forgotten topic in discussions about sexuality. Yet it concerns about 1% of the population.

• Asexuality: the absence of sexual attraction towards others. It is not an illness, nor a trauma, nor chosen abstinence, but a way of being in the world.

• Grey-sexuality: Being situated in the "grey zone" between allosexuality (experiencing desire) and asexuality. Desire is present, but in a very rare or very low capacity.

Sexual orientation vs romantic orientation: the nuance to boost your fulfilment

This is undoubtedly the most important point for stopping self-guilt. One can perfectly well dissociate sexual desire from romantic feelings. This is what is called the separate attractions model.

1. Sexual orientation: towards whom is your libido directed? (e.g.: heterosexual, homosexual).

2. Affective (gold romantic) orientation: who do you fall in love with? (e.g.: biromantic, aromantic).

In short, you can be sexually attracted to all genders (pansexual), but only want to build a romantic relationship with so-called women (gyneromantic). Understanding this nuance helps adjust expectations and relationships.

Why is sexual fluidity the key to freedom?

If these labels exist, they are not permanent contracts. Sexual fluidity (sexual fluidity) characterises the possibility of one's orientation evolving over time, through experience and encounters.

This is where the term queer takes on its full meaning. Originally an insult, it was reclaimed to become a rallying cry: it refers to any person who refuses hetero-centred norms and fixed labels. Being queer means claiming the right not to be placed in a definitive box.

Questions you ask us about orientations

Are we born with a sexual orientation?

Science suggests a combination of biological, hormonal and environmental factors. But what matters most is not so much the "origin" as the present feeling.

Can one be sapiosexual and heterosexual at the same time?

Absolutely! Orientations can overlap. One can be a so-called heterosexual man (attracted to so-called women) but whose desire is only triggered if the said woman is particularly brilliant (sapiosexual).

Why do we talk about a "spectrum"?

Because nothing is entirely black or white. Like a gradient of colour, there are infinite nuances between each definition.

In the end, whether you are pan, bi, ace or refuse any label ending in "-sexual", what matters most is consent, kindness and pleasure. Words are there to help us find ourselves, not to limit us.

Here, we celebrate and will always celebrate all forms of passion, Love wherever you place it? 

We can't wait to read your testimonials in the comments!

xoxo