Sensate focus is an approach sexologists use in some forms of couples therapy. Why are we telling you about it? Because the principle behind this method could be a GAME CHANGER for your relationship. Here's why, in a few points.
A gradual approach to exploring intimacy at your own pace
With sensate focus, the sexologist asks you to sit facing your partner. At first, you're simply invited to brush lightly against each other. During this exercise, you focus on your emotions and physical sensations. This is called sensory mindfulness. As the sessions progress, the contact becomes more intimate (always at your own pace). You can touch, massage and kiss each other. You're also encouraged to communicate with each other as openly as possible about your needs and boundaries.
An almost meditative state that creates moments of deep connection with your partner
Little by little, you build both a physical and an emotional connection with your partner. You become more naturally grounded in the present moment and find it easier to tune out your surroundings. Your partner’s body warmth, touch, smell, taste and even sound... all your senses come into play! Together, you recreate a bubble of trust, a safe space where each of you can become aware of your body again and discover what does and doesn’t feel good.
Focusing on what matters helps ease anxiety and overcome potential barriers
By creating a bubble where only the two of you exist, you leave outside sources of stress and anxiety behind. Focusing solely on your sensations during intimate moments helps you tune out everything around you. You put aside the nagging thoughts that usually trouble you (insecurities, performance worries, anxiety), and any barriers gradually melt away. Not bad, eh?!
That’s why sensate focus, whether as part of therapy or not, can be a real plus for your relationship. However, always consult a professional if you’re experiencing significant difficulties. This article is no substitute for help from a sexual health professional.
Lou ✨
Hello, I'm Lou! I have a degree in the Humanities and Social Sciences and have been interested in sex-related topics for several years. After completing several courses, including training with sexologist Mathilde Magnien, I was asked by Passage du Désir to write articles for you about sex, love and relationships. My motto? Get people talking about sexual wellbeing in a light-hearted, fun and supportive way. 💜
Lou ✨
Hi, I'm Lou! I have a degree in humanities and social sciences, and I've been interested in sexuality for several years. After completing several training courses, including one with sexologist Mathilde Magnien, Passage du Désir asked me to write articles for you about sexuality, love and relationships. My motto? Get people talking openly about sexual wellbeing, with a light-hearted, fun and supportive approach. 💜
