Hello hello my scorching puns <3

After a while, you must have realized that we are not fans of preconceived ideas.

Today we tackle the great absurdities that have been repeated since time immemorial about the supposed sexual preferences of people with penises.

They always think about sex

The idea that so-called men and people with penises are constantly seeking sex is not only a bit reductive, but also completely wrong. Libido varies greatly from person to person and depends on many factors: stress, fatigue, mental health, age, relationship context, etc.

• According to a study by the Kinsey Institute, about 15% of men and people assigned male at birth (PAH) report low or moderate libido.

• The Hite Report highlights that nearly 20% of people with penises do not feel daily sexual desire**, contrary to clichés.

But why does this stereotype persist?

• Patriarchal cultural heritage: Virility is often associated with hypersexualization, leaving little room for diversity of experiences.

• Media representations: Films, series, and advertisements reinforce the image of a so-called compulsive male sexuality.

Conclusion: Desire is fluctuating and personal. No generalization can apply to everyone.

The pressure of performance

People with penises are often expected to always be ready, enduring, and dominant during intercourse.

Yet, erectile dysfunctions (which affect 1 in 2 people with penises over 50, according to the French Urology Association) are normal and multifactorial (stress, fatigue, cardiovascular health, etc.).

The consequences:

• Performance anxiety: Fear of disappointing or not meeting expectations.

• Avoidance of intimacy: Some give up on relationships for fear of being judged.

How to overcome this pressure?

• Encourage communication: Talk openly about expectations and limits.

• Desexualize pleasure: Sex is not limited to penetration (no no no)

Size is determining

A survey by IFOP (2022) reveals that 62% of men and people with penises are concerned about the size of their penis. Yet, pleasure does not depend on this sole variable.

What science says:

• The vagina adapts to different sizes.

• The clitoris, with 8,000 nerve endings, is the main source of pleasure for most vulva owners.

• Erogenous zones (neck, ears, fingers...) play a key role in arousal.

Sexy tips: Favor caresses, erotic games, and communication for a more fulfilling sexuality.

They don't like foreplay

Contrary to stereotypes, many people with penises appreciate foreplay (massages, caresses, sensuality...).

A study from the Journal of Sex Research (2020) indicates that 73% of men and PAH surveyed report enjoying prolonged foreplay.

Perhaps because they:

• Enhance emotional connection

• Improve mutual arousal

• Allow for a progressive build-up of desire

To try: Role-playing, sensory exploration, eroticizing the everyday.

A person with a penis must always take the initiative

In 68% of cases (Gleeden Survey, 2023), it is still the person with a penis who proposes a sexual encounter. This expectation can be burdensome and limit the expression of partners' desires.

How to break this pattern?

• Encourage reciprocity: Sexuality is an exchange, not a predefined script

• Deconstruct expectations: Vulva owners can also initiate

• Value spontaneity: Make room for shared desires

These clichés, often rooted in rigid social norms, limit the expression of authentic and diverse sexuality. By overcoming them, we promote healthier, more respectful, and thus more fulfilling relationships for all.