Hello, hello, my hot little wordplay lovers <3

By now, you’ve probably gathered that we’re not fans of misconceptions and clichés.

Today we’re tackling the nonsense we’ve been told since time immemorial about the supposed sexual preferences of people with penises.

Cliché no. 1: they’re always thinking about sex

The idea that men and people with a penis are constantly in pursuit of sex is one of the biggest clichés — not only is it reductive, but it is also completely wrong. Libido varies greatly from person to person and depends on many factors: stress, fatigue, mental health, age, relationship context, and so on.

• According to a Kinsey Institute study, around 15% of men and people assigned male at birth (AMAB) report a low or moderate libido.

• The Hite Report notes that nearly 20% of people with penises do not experience sexual desire every day**, contrary to entrenched stereotypes.

But why does this cliché persist?

• Patriarchal cultural legacy: masculinity is often associated with hypersexuality, leaving little room for diverse experiences.

• Media portrayals: films, series and adverts reinforce the cliché by depicting so-called male sexuality as compulsive.

Bottom line: desire is fluid and personal. No generalisation or cliché can apply to everyone.

Cliché no. 2: the pressure to perform

People with penises are often expected to be always ready, enduring and dominant during sex.

Yet erectile difficulties (which affect 1 in 2 people with a penis over the age of 50, according to the French Association of Urology) are normal and have many possible causes (stress, fatigue, cardiovascular health…).

The consequences:

• Performance anxiety: fear of disappointing someone or not meeting expectations.

• Avoiding intimacy: some people steer clear of relationships for fear of being judged.

How can we move past this pressure-inducing cliché?

• Encourage communication: talk openly about expectations and boundaries.

• Desexualising pleasure: sex isn't just about penetration (no, no, no).

Cliché no. 3: size is everything

An IFOP survey (2022) found that 62% of men and people with penises worry about their penis size. Yet pleasure doesn’t depend on size alone.

What the science says:

• The vagina adapts to different sizes.

• With its 8,000 nerve endings, the clitoris is the main source of pleasure for most people with vulvas.

• Erogenous zones (the neck, ears, fingers…) play a key role in arousal.

Sexy tips: focus on caresses, erotic play and communication for a more fulfilling sex life.

Cliché no. 4: they don’t like foreplay

Contrary to the stereotypes, many people with penises enjoy foreplay (massages, caresses, sensuality…).

A study in the Journal of Sex Research (2020) found that 73% of the men and AMAB people surveyed said they enjoyed extended foreplay.

Perhaps because they:

• Strengthen emotional connection

• Increase mutual arousal

• Allow desire to build gradually

Things to try: role play, sensory exploration and bringing eroticism into everyday life.

Cliché no. 5: a person with a penis must always make the first move

In 68% of cases (Gleeden survey, 2023), it’s still the person with a penis who suggests having sex. That expectation can feel burdensome and limit their partners’ expression of desire.

How can we break this pattern?

• Encourage give and take: sex is an exchange, not a predetermined script

• Challenge expectations: people with vulvas can initiate sex too

• Embrace spontaneity: make room for shared desires

These clichés, often rooted in rigid social norms, limit the expression of authentic, varied sexuality. Moving beyond them fosters healthier, more respectful and ultimately more fulfilling relationships for everyone.