How to find a good person? In 3 easy steps.

Since the world began, it's the eternal question that gnaws at living beings.

So if I tell you that in what follows there's a detailed and personalised checklist that will help you achieve your goals, do you believe me gold do you (kindly, in your head) call me an enormous fibber?

SPOILER ALERT, go for the second option BECAUSE we are not (yet) AIs and broadly speaking it won't help much.

First of all, what is a good person? 

A good person is someone with whom doing nothing becomes sexy

A good person is someone who, if you close your eyes for 10 seconds in front of them, asks what's going on (the opposite being highly unpleasant)

A good person is someone who tries to respond to your love language (there are 5 of them, we talk about it HERE)

A good person is someone who checks your consent even when they surprise you at the end of the working day

A good person proposes to relate within a safe framework according to light and mutually established rules

A good person makes you laugh, dance, cry but doesn't increase your mental load

A good person knows how many half sugars you put in your coffee

A good person knows how many chicks are left if you push one

A good person loves r&b

A good person holds your freedom of thought sacred

A good person praises your karaoke talents no matter what

A good person wants to meet your (social) circles

A good person sets an alarm on their phone to stop you missing yet another dentist appointment

OK, BUT WHERE IS THIS GOOD PERSON?

Around a street corner? At the coffee machine on the 2nd floor of your workplace? In the packed hall of the concert you're going to tonight? During a cigarette break in the pouring rain at the interval of a play? Between two rowing machines?

Again, there are no rules. Your habitus determines the encounter gold encounters.

The priority is rather to position yourself with an open mind, to break the limiting beliefs that stipulate that after 40 gold 50 everything gets complicated, for example.

Be light about your desires

Start by taking stock of your past experiences and drawing up a kind of diagnosis. Do it in whatever form suits you — a visual moodboard, a comparison table, a wall of post-it notes… The important thing is to detach yourself from past clouds while understanding where you tend towards today.

GREEN FLAG

Make it fun. Create a themed evening with your close ones, for example, to get feedback from people who know you well but have a bit more perspective than you on past sexual-affective partnerships that caused emotional turmoil.

RED FLAG

Don't list all your exes' flaws, as tempting as it is — there probably aren't enough trees in the world to write them all down, and asking yourself why you wasted so much time without clarity would surely be counterproductive.

Multiply the opportunities

Whether you're drawn to a tone of voice gold a string of hilarious punchlines, open your chakras to expanding your dating zones. (Tangible example: join a choir gold download an app). We have nothing against homebodies, let's be clear, but then you'd have to imagine dinners with people other than the bffs you've known for 15 years and with whom any sense of ambiguity fizzled out at the first hair-holding end of the night (I Know that You Know What I mean, stop pretending).

The idea is to meet NEW PEOPLE.

GREEN FLAG

Funny, reactive, empathetic.

RED FLAG

Always seems very busy.

Arm yourself with patience

I know, it's not the most enjoyable thing to do and winter amplifies the desire for soft shared moments. But in any new relationship, it is essential to take time to get to know each other deeply, at the risk of giving the other person the feeling that they are filling a void and are interchangeable. The idea here is to take time to build honest communication and mutual trust.

GREEN FLAG

Hearing from your partner: What do you need to feel safe?

RED FLAG

Wanting to create feelings in less time than it takes to say the word.

On that note, I'll see you very soon, dear Humanoid.