How to find someone good? In 3 easy steps.

Since the world has been the world, it's the eternal question that greatly troubles living composites.

So if I tell you that in what follows there's a detailed and personalized checklist that will allow you to achieve your goals, do you believe me or do you (kindly and in your head) call me a huge mythomaniac?

SPOILER ALERT, opt for the second choice BECAUSE we are not (yet) AIs and overall that won't help much.

First of all, what is a good person? 

A good person is someone with whom doing nothing becomes sexy

A good person is someone who, if you close your eyes for 10 seconds in front of them, asks what's happening (the opposite being highly unpleasant)

A good person is someone who tries to respond to your love language (there are 5 of them, we talk about it HERE )

A good person is someone who validates your consent even when they surprise you after work

A good person suggests having a relationship in a safe framework with clear and common rules established

A good person makes you laugh, dance, cry but does not increase your mental load

A good person knows how many half sugars you put in your coffee

A good person knows how many chicks are left if you push one

A good person loves RnB

A good person sanctifies your freedom of thought

A good person praises your karaoke talents no matter what

A good person wants to meet your (social) circles

A good person sets an alarm on their phone to prevent you from missing that nth dentist appointment

OK, BUT WHERE IS A GOOD PERSON?

Around the corner? At the coffee machine on the second floor of your work? In the crowded hall of the concert you're going to tonight? During a cigarette break in pouring rain at the intermission of a play? Between two rowers?

Again, there are no rules. Your habitus determines the meeting or meetings.

The priority is rather to position yourself openly, to break the limiting beliefs that stipulate that after 40 or 50 years everything becomes complicated, for example.

Be clear about your desires

Start by reviewing your past experiences and establish a sort of diagnosis. Do it in the form you like, a visual mood board, a comparative chart, a wall of post-its... The important thing is to detach yourself from past clouds while understanding what you are aiming for today.

GREEN FLAG

Make it fun. Create a theme night with your close ones, for example, to get feedback from people who know you well but have a little more perspective than you on past sexual-affective partnerships that caused emotional turmoil.

RED FLAG

Do not list all the flaws of your exes, although it is very tempting, there are probably not enough trees in this world to put them on paper on one hand, and on the other hand asking yourself why you wasted so much time being clear-headed would certainly be counterproductive.

Multiply opportunities

Whether you are sensitive to a tone of voice or a series of hilarious punchlines, open your chakras to the expansion of your dating zones. (Tangible example: joining a choir or downloading an app). We have nothing against homebodies, let's be clear, but then you would have to imagine dinners with people other than the BFFs you've known for 15 years and with whom the notion of ambiguity extinguished at the first held hair at the end of the evening (I Know that You Know What I mean, stop).

The idea is to meet NEW PEOPLE.

GREEN FLAG

Funny, responsive, empathetic.

RED FLAG

Always seems very busy.

Arm yourself with patience

I know, it's not the most fun thing to do and winter accentuates the desire for sweet moments to share. But it is essential in any new relationship to learn to know each other deeply at the risk of giving the other the feeling of filling a void and being interchangeable. The idea here is to take the time to create honest communication and build mutual trust.

GREEN FLAG

Hearing from your partner: What do you need to feel safe?

RED FLAG

Wanting to create feelings in less time than it takes to say the word.

On these beautiful words, I say see you very soon kind Humanoid.