Relationships, sexuality and the menstrual cycle

How does our menstrual cycle affect our sexuality?

Throughout each month and throughout our lives, hormonal changes linked to the menstrual cycle affect our bodies and moods. They affect our sexuality too — and not just a little!

Do you feel incredibly turned on at certain times, month after month? That’s normal! And if your libido goes missing at other times, that’s normal too! Today, we’re unpacking it all. How do hormonal changes throughout the menstrual cycle affect our sexuality? And how can we navigate them in everyday life and in our relationships?

Let’s take a look!

First, it’s worth knowing that a cycle lasts between 21 and 31 days on average, although some can be shorter or longer. It has three phases: the follicular phase, ovulation and the luteal phase. Each phase has its own hormones and distinct effects. I’ll try to give you the tools to understand your cycle and navigate your sexuality through each phase.

Part one: renewal and calm during the follicular phase

From the first day of your period and for around 14 days, your cycle is in its follicular phase.

After the difficult days of PMS (premenstrual syndrome — we’ll come back to that later), and menstrual cramps aside, the follicular phase can feel like a period of relief. That’s thanks to rising levels of LH and FSH, which stimulate the production of oestrogen (a primary sex hormone).

This rise in oestrogen may boost our intuition and imagination. That could be why we feel calmer and more inclined to reflect on ourselves.

Sexually speaking, it’s the perfect time for some solo pleasure and self-care. Make the most of this phase to do what feels good. Especially if you get menstrual cramps: masturbation is an excellent way to ease the pain.

Masturbating in warm water, in a bath for example, can relax the area. This can help ease menstrual pain.

Towards the end of this phase, rising testosterone and oestrogen give you a boost and plenty of physical and mental energy.

Phase two: things heat up during ovulation

You’re now in the ovulation phase. What’s happening with your hormones? LH and oestrogen levels are at their peak, and that’s good news! Oestrogen improves the functioning of serotonin receptors — serotonin being the happiness hormone — and boosts sexual desire. This hormone may also make us more sociable and therefore more inclined to flirt.

If the slightest visual or physical stimulation sends you wild, chances are you’re ovulating. Generally, you can feel this phase coming from a mile off. You feel sexy, and the libido that vanished earlier comes roaring back. Why the sudden surge in desire? Quite simply because your body is fertile. It’s doing everything it can to reproduce (sneaky little thing). So make the most of this time to enjoy yourself. Go and explore your fantasies with your partner!

Bear in mind, though, that not everyone experiences this rise in libido. Firstly, because there are no universal rules when it comes to sexuality. Secondly, because psychological factors play a part. For some people, knowing they’re fertile can affect their sexual desire because they’re afraid of becoming pregnant. Conversely, they may find their desire increases during their period, when their fertility is at its lowest. It just goes to show that hormones aren’t everything!

Phase three: slowing down and PMS during the luteal phase

The luteal phase runs from the day after ovulation until the first day of your next period. This phase lasts around 14 days and can be divided into two parts: the few days after ovulation and the days before your period.

After ovulation, progesterone levels shoot up. This hormone has a soothing, calming effect and brings your libido back down. It’s a good time to relax and reconnect with yourself. Why not use this phase to try tantric sex, a blend of meditation and sex? At the same time, oestrogen and testosterone levels fall. That’s what can leave you feeling as though you’re running on low power.

Next comes the premenstrual phase, bringing its share of discomfort. During this time, many people experience significant pain in their breasts, back or abdomen, sometimes extending into their legs. Their mood may take a dip too. Some may even experience depression during this phase. Low levels of oestrogen, testosterone and progesterone affect serotonin receptors (serotonin being the happiness hormone). If you’re in a relationship, it’s a good time to let your partner pamper you: bubble baths, relaxing massages and comforting meals. You deserve it!

While many people don’t feel like getting frisky at this point in their cycle, others use sex as pain relief. It can be ideal for easing cramps and getting a little boost of oxytocin. What’s more, for some people, the thickening of the uterine lining may stimulate nerve endings and make the area more sensitive to pleasure.

Once this phase is over, the cycle starts again with the follicular phase — and so it goes on!

Although all these hormones affect our libido, they’re just one of the sooo many factors that influence our sexuality! Of course, you can feel incredibly aroused during the premenstrual phase and feel no sexual desire even while ovulating. You might also never feel aroused, or feel aroused all the time!

I hope this article has helped you understand the link between your cycle and your sexuality, and answered some of your questions!

See you soon 💜