ANAL ORGASM: we tell you everything in 5 key points

Greetings, butterfly breezes 💜,

"Just to be clear though, we agree that anal sex is painful, right?"

The sales assistants and trainers at Passage du Désir hear this at least once a week.

So we decided it was time we talked about it.

In the common imagination, anal penetration is associated with a painful experience, unlike vaginal penetration, which is rarely linked to suffering by default. The real enemy? The stress of the first time, which tenses the perineum and kills desire.

5 keys to see things more clearly.

1. Anal penetration should NOT be painful

The perineum and perianal area are just as sensitive and erogenous as the genitals. A gentle massage (with a suitable oil) can, for example:

• Desacralising penetration

• Relaxing the muscles

• Getting familiar with the sensations

Quick tip: Take inspiration from the Sensate Focus method (thank you Masters & Johnson), 5 steps to reconnect pleasure and touch.

2. Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate

Unlike the vagina, the anus is an area that does not self-lubricate, which is why we strongly recommend using a long-lasting textured lube, paired for example with a relaxing anal gel.

3. How to start gently?

For a successful first time:

• Choose a small plug (such as the Hector, ideal for its progressive shape and soft material).

• Insert it yourself (or guide your partner(s)) to keep control or reassure yourself.

• Breathe deeply to relax your muscles.

Never force (yourself gold others): pleasure comes with patience

4. Stimulating related erogenous zones

Anal orgasm is often amplified by other caresses.

The winning combos:

• Clitoris/penis + anal → Double stimulation for cascading orgasms.

• Breasts/perineum + anal → Activates more nerve endings.

⚡ Fun fact: Many people reach orgasm solely through anal stimulation, thanks to this nerve connection!

5. Listening to your body and communicating

Pleasure is, above all, a matter of consent and kindness.

Our advice: 

• Go progressively: No chasing performance, please.

• Talk with yourself and/or your partner(s): Say what you like, what you want to try, what you feel step by step, and debrief the experience.

• Stop at any moment: Any discomfort = pause gold change of approach.

OUR ULTIMATE CHECKLIST

✔ Physical and mental preparation

✔ Quality lube

✔ Suitable equipment (plug, fingers…)

✔ Open communication with your partner

✔ Patience and self-compassion

As always, we suggest exploratory approaches that are never directives. Prioritise your sensations, your desires, question them and enjoy the moments you experience.